Best of Show (Part 3) by Wasamon

And we start off with Deborah as a POV of all characters. It sounds like the clan spent Christmas eve the best way possible - doing things as a family. I'd imagine Daniel's repertoire of offerings was enhanced by the exercise.
Going to the beach by herself. It's the tourist area, so bills should be ok. Plus she'll have backup if pup's anywhere in earshot.
Drinking brings out the worst in people, and henchies are no exception it seems.
Not pup, but backup is certainly a figure of authority. And she's accepting no excuses.
Madrigal Sharpe - not a drow I was expecting, but certainly a friendly figure. As she said, her royal highness does nothing by half measure. That henchie may not be welcomed back if his boss is smart.
And Deborah gets the lowdown on a few of the local timeshare occupants.
Gizmatic actually follows through on the troll office. Nice Checkov's gun there.
Seems the social embarrassment wasn't enough for the henchie, and he's back for round 2. If he's lucky, he won't get ORKed for his antics, but I don't see his visa being approved the next time he wants to visit.
I'll agree with Deborah - the festive decor on the police drone just makes it scarier. At least the ladies in security have a sense of humor when stuck on one of the nominally worst shifts.
And yes, I think that situation deserved another drink. If Deborah does immigrate, she'll be better informed of the local traditions at least.
Even if she's running on caffeine and adrenaline tomorrow, it'll be worth it.

Over to Daniel - and Cookie. The bots did well for Cookie. It's going to be wearing the hats for as long as it can.
Love the spin on The night before Christmas. 
Cookie and it's dog biscuit - that's a fun mental image.
Daniel will definitely appreciate those gifts - it's a cooking set that even Ayla would approve of. Something tells me that last spice is HRH's patented HFH peppers in dried form.
Cookie got a computer? That's going to be an interesting plot device. Why do I have the mental image of it video chatting with Crumpet?

Christmas day service. It's unfortunate in a way that the rest of the drow don't spend as much time with the natives, but Roxie and her family are building needed bridges. Crumpet and Cookie provide an unusual twist on the service, but that's Kardonia for you.
I suppose it makes sense that there'd be a uniform fabricator in a time share lair, even if the occupants are making little use of the specialized amenities. 
Why does the mental image of Cookie and Crumpet singing along lead to the mental image of Sharpe and Carlyle clans going caroling with the critters?
And the tarts were a hit.

The festivites move onto Roxie's home for the joint celebration. Seems like Roxie would be a melvillian if she ended up attending Whateley. The fact that the Sharpes have stayed grounded says something about their character.
And Crumpet invites Cookie into her home. They do make a good couple.
Roxie showing Daniel her room. The isolation she's been experiencing gives a bit of a Rapunzel vibe. Perhaps Jobe will take a deep breath and let her (and Crumpet) streatch her wings.

Jobe getting gussied up for a royal ball (I assume). I think I see shades of her pre-drow self coming through in the dislike of the frilly outfit.
Ok - dressing for the exhibition. I suppose that makes sense.
Critters moved with minimal casualties. Don't tell me it was the splintercat.
Belphoebe getting amusement from Jobe's discomfort - I suppose some things never change.

A Caribbean Christmas dinner. Very different flavor, but doesn't sound half bad.
Normalcy is always good, even in the oddest of times and places.
'Most Impressive Bite Mark on the Assistant.' Fortunately, I don't think the splintercat will qualify for that.
Roxie doing a dance number with Crumpet - sounds adorable. If they had time, I could see Cookie and Daniel joining in. Perhaps after the show.
Hopefully Cookie's performance won't be 'fending off HATE'M protesters', but that would be a demonstration that would contribute to a 'best in show' prize.
Roxie's big gift was a sharp knife. Jobe does want her to be safe after all. Even if the show probably has Daniel blushing as much as she was.
Ah - so Cookie got a media player, not a full computer. Just as useful.
And I was right about the last jar in the spice rack, even if I didn't get the name right. If Daniel needs some self-defense tools, there you go.
Are we certain Daniel doesn't have a touch of Gadg/Dev on his MID? The urge to cook with the peppers (using recipe intended for ghost peppers) seems to fit that mentality.
The timeshare has a lab. Not the most normal of kitchens, but the product would definitely be a treat for a Drow panel.
Seems that Daniel is at least a little smitten with Roxie. Not that that's a bad thing. Seems that Belphoebe might get her wish of seeing Roxie and Daniel on the beach together.

Crumpet being leashed because she wants to be - that sounds about right.
And Roxie is getting professional psych support. Sounds like a good thing, given Drow hormones likely amp things up to 11.
Wouldn't surprise me if Madrigal has one of her own. The perils of being a test subject.

And the parental types keep an eye on the critters while mad science style cooking commences. (Iron Chef, Kardonia anyone?)
Perhaps Roxie has found a hobby in cooking? It sounds like Jobe has been prepping her for plenty of places in the Kardonia leadership.
And off to the beach for the kids. Good thing mom warned Roxie not to go overboard in her affection.

Roxie's dad gets what Daniel is going through, and I think he approves of Daniel as a potential future son-in-law.
Don't tell me Cookie wants the forbidden chocolate. But Cookie's a good dog and won't eat it.
The beach date goes as well as could be expected (in other words, quite well). There'll be plenty of time to unpack the feelings later for both the youngsters.

On to the taste test. Sounds like it meets the approval of both the drow.
And Daniel goes in for a bite. It helps defines a limit on what he can conjure, but it also shows just how dangerous his skill could be.
That sounds like one hell of a counteragent to the peppers that the doc mixed up.
And the tart KOed Daniel anyways. Live and learn? Hopefully the outcome isn't an emergency drow conversion.

No drow conversion, and not out for too long.
And now comes the unpacking. Both seem to care for the other.
And the kisses reach blackout proportions. I think Daniel's going to have to update his social status to 'Taken', much to the dismay of the female population he didn't have the opportunity to escort.

And a midnight phonecall as a hook for the next (final?) chapter. I'm going to guess it was Jobe calling Belphoebe, but there's enough nefarious elements in the background that it could be other parties just as easily.

Christmas Eve, close to midnight

For many of the preachers and church leaders in the state, the difference between them and someone like the Reverend Barkus was merely one of degree.

This story and Debbie Browning's opinion of such things have convinced me to never visit the Middle Rockies in Idaho. Cooking with Daniel and experimenting with the snozzeberries is a great use of time. Oof, the only one awake late at night, I know that feeling. Down to the beach, why be on a tropical island at Christmas time if you can't enjoy being on a beach.

Cookie raised one head to squint at her from the sofa cushion fortress of puppitude as she made her way out.

Cute name for Cookie's sleeping area. *winces at the thought of stepping barefoot into a bar* A not-chatty bartender, boy, this is different from the U.S.A.

She might well have been the only customer that evening who was not actively engaged in villainy as a profession.

Such a colorful scene in Karadonia. Entry-level henchmen, you would think they would vary their look more; being so uniform would make it easy for the authorities to recognize them.

Ugh, hit on a henchman with no class. Kind of wish Cookie had gone with her now. Lady Metalanta, The Jade Ogress, The Dragon Queen, just how many female villains have mainly female henchwomen? Lazlo still thinks she is a fellow henchman, oh brother.

"Binary venom," the cold voice noted. "Either finger is enough on its own, but both together, and now you can't move at all for five minutes. But your ears still work. And, you know what? Her Highness never does a thing by halves. If I add the venom from my ring finger here, your paralysis will be nothing but a world of agony. And the pinky? Add that in and... I don't know, actually. She never said exactly what would happen, only that it would be so amusing."

One of Jobe's drow women, either out for a drink or sent here as security for idiots like Lazlo.

Yes, a table by the veranda with her savior is a good idea. Ouch, using the venom in her hands makes her fingers sore; I wonder why Jobe didn't figure out a way to prevent that. Madrigal Sharpe, Roxie's mother, doesn't play around. Curious about Debbie, I guess she wants to see what the people who are family to Daniel are like. Binary venom was a fib just to bess with Lazlo, hehehe. Ah, so cute how Roxie and Daniel can't stop talking about each other to their families.

Ah, the snozzeberry tarts are for the community bruncheon after the church service. Karadonia is a great place, if you avoid the nightlight places where the henchmen hang out, and can get used to the vehicles and roads. How Stella Got Her Groove Back, they both watched it in college.

Madrigal counted off her fingers. "One, Lady Metalanta. Cybernetics and prosthetic enhancements specialist. Runs a clinic on the island. You're too all-natural to be one of hers. Her henchfolk are all satisfied customers working off their debt, and they tend to show their upgrades with pride.

"Second, the Jade Ogress. Less a villainess and more a victim of circumstance. Applied for asylum last year. She doesn't have henchfolk; she's got worshippers who are closer to being addicts, and they're far more of a nuisance for that. Last I heard, she's taken up residence in an undisclosed upcountry location while the fanatics can't get a visa permit outside of the tourist zones.

"Third, the Dragon Queen. She's a magical type, a schemer. Manages her henchladies as a multi-level marketing system."

Ouch, with what is said about the Jade Ogress, I'm not sure I want to know what her powers are to have fanatics/addicts following her.

The Caribbean Christmas Eve was lit by the lingering sparkle of the Tree in the sky, and against that backdrop, Debbie could see drones rushing around. "Er, what're those supposed to be?"

"They're the little helpers," Madrigal told her. "Sent by the Troll Office on behalf of Karedonia's very own seasonal gift-giver, Carol the Ancient Yuletide Troll."

"Oh dear, I thought Daniel was joking about that. It just sounded so silly."

"That's His Majesty for you. Amazing ideas, kooky follow-through. Anyway, it's bad form to interrupt them while they're on the job. Give them half an hour to drop everything off and then you can go back."

That is some way to deliver gifts.

"Well..." Madrigal made a show of clasping her hands together as she began. "Roxie mentioned that she didn't think Daniel had gotten anything from Santa Claus in perhaps ever..."

"Sadly true. Hardly any birthday presents, either."

"Poor boy. But it makes me feel better about ringing up a friend in the Troll Office earlier this evening and getting a few last-minute additions made to the Extra Super Very Nice list."

"Oh, you didn't..."

"Him and Cookie both," Madrigal confirmed.

Welp, Daniel is getting spoiled this Christmas to make up for all the ones he has missed. Dang, the Troll Office is something I wish every country had; no one would be stuck being driven into occupations they hate. Even the naughty kids get educational gifts. That drunken idiot Lazlo is about to attack one of the Little Helpers; I think he is about to earn himself a lifetime ban from Karadonia for this.

Oh, good, the idiot missed, but now he is in trouble for trying that. A Gizmapolitan Police unit dressed up like Santa; Lazlo, you are a colossal idiot.

CHARGES INCLUDE PUBLIC INTOXICATION, RECKLESS USE OF SUPERHUMAN ABILITIES, ATTEMPTED FIRST DEGREE ASSAULT UPON A LITTLE HELPER, AND VERBALLY ABUSING AN OFFICER DROID OF THE COURT. HOW DO YOU PLEAD?

"Bite me, you fuckin' toaster oven!"

ADDITION TO EXTRA DOUBLE-SPECIAL NAUGHTY LIST CONFIRMED. REMANDING TO TROLL OFFICE FOR PROPER PENANCE. HO-HO-HO.

Lazlo, when you mess up, you really mess up. Carried away by utility droids all wearing red festive hats and chanting ho-ho-ho, Lazlo will never live this down.

"Yup," confirmed Madrigal. "The ladies in Security must be laughing their asses off right now. They only get to pull crap like this one night of the year, and they just love it when someone gives them the excuse. Anyway, you should be clear to go back now."

Hehehe, I would enjoy it too. Disturbingly odd local traditions, I think those would fill at least a small book, if not a bigger volume.

Sunday, Dec. 25th, 2016, Christmas Day
Daniel

Bwahaha, Cookie sure has ways to wake up Daniel in the morning. Festive party hats in Cookie's size for both heads; just what doesn't Karadonia have to buy? Nice variation on the Night Before Christmas. Just how big is that sack with presents inside? Karadonia Christmas tradition, so only those receiving the gifts are allowed to open the sack. A set of presents for each of them.

And a dog biscuit large enough to need registration as a personal weapon.

Boy, the Troll Office sure knows where to get or how to make any gift.

1 present for Daniel: A set of high-quality kitchen tools. 2nd present:

Unwrapped, it proved to be a book--or rather, the One True Authorized and Expansive Tome of Recipes from the Grand Isle of Karedonia with a foreword by the Ministry of Tourism and a copy of Her Imperial Highness's mess of a signature. Leafing through it, Daniel couldn't say he knew what half of the ingredients were, much less the spices.

Boy, that will keep Daniel busy for a long time. 3rd and final gift: Spice rack with 3 rows, most commonly used, less commonly used, and stuff I'm pretty sure only exists because Jobe made them.

And then there was the one in the bottom-right corner that could only have been a Karedonian specialty. He could tell by the bright yellow warning sign that doubled as the imperial seal, not to mention triple layers of bottle packaging. There'd be no opening that one by accident, nossiree. Best to leave it for later.

That is the super-hot spice, isn't it?

Okay, OMNI, they definitely need Roxie's dad's help to figure that one out. Why did the Troll Office send that to Cookie? Mass early in the morning, I hope everyone there is fully awake.

Roxie

La Iglesia de Santa Monica filled to capacity, I hope it isn't too loud for Cookie's sake.

For a lot of them, she and Mom might've been the only drow they'd ever met, at least socially, and Dad was so obviously not a local that ears skipped over his fluent Spanish in the assumption that he didn't speak any.

Never assume someone can't speak a language you can; it has gotten more people in trouble or embarrassed than anything else. Crumpette has to behave, poor girl. Overflow seating, ack, please say they don't sing songs at full volume.

Roxie was out of her chair, across the lawn and street, and barreling into him at Hug Force Five before he even knew she was there. "You came, you came, you came!" she squee'd.

It is a good thing Daniel is sturdier than he looks.

"There was a uniform fabricator left in the basement lab space," Dr. Carlyle explained. His own suit looked much like the young man's, made of a light, almost papery material in neutral colors. "I can't argue with the tailoring, however. For an emergency ensemble, it works quite well."

Ah, one of those 'wear and discard afterward' outfit makers.

Roxie giggled and twirled, letting the ruffled skirts drift around her. Drow tended towards brighter, bolder colors, but that day she was in more of a pastel mood, with pale pink and light blue merging into a striking purple along the edges. "Thank you! Yours is nice, too!"

Artwork of Daniel and Roxie, both in their outfits, would be nice. The dress sounds so pretty. Cookie and Crumpette have to sit and behave for an hour straight, oh boy. Introductions all around, glad to know Cody is fine.

"Right. Mass is said in Spanish. Do any of you... I thought not," she said to their shaking heads. "The main liturgy and sermon are broadcast, even on not so busy Sundays, and it's recorded for English, Spanish, French, and various creoles of the islands. We got some earphones for you, so just select a language and stick it in. English is the first setting," she added.

Now that is an innovation that gets more people in church. Daniel and Roxie get to sit next to Cookie and Crumpette. Sharing a broad folding chair and close together, Roxie is in Heaven right now.

Up towards where the lawn met the church building, a projection screen was set up to give a view of Padre Ramón giving the sermon as they heard it over loudspeakers or headphones, but first the priest had to get there.

Great way to make use of the space they have.

Cookie and Crumpette can behave when needed.

Roxie did worry about the owlbear. Noise was still noise, and a crowd was still a crowd, but the birbo needed the experience. A couple of times, feathers ruffled and hackles rose, only for a soft paw to bump and a softer 'woof' to reassure.

Cookie is a good friend to Crumpette. Songs in Spanish, Cookie and Crumpette joining in the chorus from the 2nd time on is so cute. How Daniel described it is the most common way to have Holy Communion, the same as at the church I used to attend.

That woman administering the Eucharist for their line, I would tell Padre Ramón about that; you aren't supposed to judge people while administering the Eucharist like that. Ending Mass with a song.

Padre Ramón led the recessional parade out the front of the church and back around the lawn, pausing only a moment in front of Cookie to compliment pup's singing and make a little sign of the cross on each canine forehead. A beat later, Crumpette was begging for equal attention and got a blessing of her own.

Padre Ramón is the kind of person priests are supposed to be. Eating outside, I wish the weather here allowed that more often. A snozzeberry tart made by Daniel, now Roxie will never find another dessert as delicious ever again.

Daniel

That close to the rental place, yet Roxie didn't want to meet up with Daniel for their date the other day at her family's home.

The building climbed up the side of a natural ridge, each floor anchored to a level of strata. It was tall enough and wide enough to have a pair of elevators to serve the residents, but Roxie and her family had a third lift all to themselves, big enough for a pup and a birbo with room for the humans. It required a key to access, and it went to only one floor: the top.

And now I see why; intimidating seems like an understatement.

Miz Madrigal laughed. "Hardly. Though I suppose seniority does play a part. There aren't many drow who pre-date Roxie or the third formulation of the drow serum. But as a former test subject, frequent lab assistant, and current royal owlbear wrangler, she has a unique spot in the island peerage."

"MO～OM!" And maybe this was something else the girl hadn't wanted to mention just yet, looking at the way she was blushing vaguely purple.

Trust me, Roxie, all parents know how to embarrass their kids.

"Only because of lower age limits. Ah, here we are," said the lady as the elevator reached the top. "The residence of the future Baroness West-Beach-Heights."

"It's not a big deal, really," the girl whispered to him. "I wish she wouldn't bring it up."

Whoa, no wonder Jobe is so overprotective of Roxie, she is like her aunt.

The residence was the entire top of the building. Even with only the one story, it was larger than the rental house by about half again. The elevator let out to a pavilion with a covered walkway around a garden lawn. There was a little house to the side of it that was certainly Crumpette's The owlbear led her pupper friend over to the grass for a happy lounging while the humans headed on. There wasn't really a front door, but more of a big sliding window that opened to everything else.

This is the height of luxury. Roxie dragged Daniel to her room, eep.

Daniel'd lived the dorm life long enough to recognize a rush tidy-up job, and this'd been a good one. He wasn't about to open the closet to see why its door bulged out slightly, but the rest was mostly neat and trim.

Never open the closet, that is bad comedy/sitcom fodder. The colors of her room match Roxie's holiday dress; when you love certain colors, it is hard not to obsess over them.

Daniel lives in Hawthorne cottage at Whateley; your room isn't even in the top 100 for messiness, Roxie.

"Not much school." She pointed to the big desk in the corner with the computer setup. "I'm in the teleschooling system. It's interesting, and it goes as fast as I can follow, but it's mainly so Her Highness can monitor my development. Youngest of the drow and all that. Gotta make sure I'm growing up normal, whatever that means."

"Normal is overrated," he agreed. "Should 'a brought my tablet so I could show you photos and stuff from Whateley."

Ah, so this is why Roxie hasn't been sent to Whateley; Jobe wants to keep a close eye on her. Jobe is trying to make flying pigs, nooo!

"Hm? Oh! That's Her Highness and friends," Roxie told him. "When they were just out of high school. She's the one in the middle, looking awesome and bored, and you might recognize Lady Bova on the left."

Jobe and all the drow girls on a poster, I wonder if that is sold in stores in Karedonia.

"Anyway, they're all awesome," said the girl. "They've been like big sisters or aunties or something to me for like eight years now. Even Her Highness, sometimes."

Yeah, those girls are great; before them, Jobe was much more high-strung. Thank you for interrupting what Roxie was about to ask Daniel with dinnertime; I fear she is growing up too fast and was going to ask him about 'that'. Walking hand-in-hand down to dinner, they are just too cute together.

The Imperial Dressing Rooms

Belphoebe sometimes found it humorously ironic that, for all they were both devisors with the social graces of a socket wrench and a fashion sense that often forgot to change labcoats for days at a time, Their Imperial Highnesses had latched onto the concept of pageantry and dress-up, quite independently of one another, as a means of competition--and that the results were about as one might expect. Not that she herself was one to talk, the nut never falling too far from the tree and all that, but at least she had the good fortune of friends in her early formative months who had helped her progress from her baseline petty and opportunistic self to become the new and improved, fabulous and opportunistic self she was today.

They never got Jobe out of her...unusual taste in clothing, did they? Jobe is in a fitting machine and complaining; she has to find something to complain about, or she wouldn't be Jobe.

The problem was the material, but Jobe Ann couldn't say too much about that without admitting her mistake in choosing it as the showcase item of the ensemble. A full ballroom gown woven in Arachnaean silk, blended of all colors and of none, was the next new thing from the Imperial Ministry of Zoology.

Gah! You should have tested out the fitting before now. Bwahaha, the snipping at each other. She is going to see her father and wants to look fabulous.

"You do remember that we hired the best team of psychologists Whateley's medical service could recommend specifically to talk about these things, yes? And not just to manage the mental health ministry or monitor the ever-evolving drow condition?"

"And when was the last time you went to see a shrink?" the princess demanded.

"Last Wednesday with Dr. Schloss for my regularly scheduled session. Jobe Ann..."

Jobe wants to look pretty, but hates how the clothes feel when she wears them, oh boy. Ah, her father is going to be at the show and have to work with each other; now I see why Jobe is in a foul mood.

HAET'M and the Jade Cultists, they better not ruin the show or end up harming anyone. That hit squad sounds like idiots who think things will be like in video games.

"Swimmingly, I would say. Even more so if she can get that young man down to the beach to see her in a bikini."

"Not what I was asking," growled Her Highness.

"Well, Madrigal checked in last night to place an order for whatever the kitchens could spare on short notice, so they, the boy, and the Carlyles should be enjoying a decent Christmas dinner together any time now. What more could you want?"

Jobe, stop being an overprotective auntie to Roxie; Daniel is a true gentleman, and even if Roxie tried to push their relationship in that direction, he would steer her away from that by saying they aren't ready for it yet. A carrot to get you to behave while dealing with your father, Jobe. I'm sure the girls had to do similar things while at Whateley when Jobe got angry with someone.

Dinner at the Sharpe Residence

The Sharpe family Christmas table was absolutely none of that, and yet so much more--and in a completely different direction. There was an enormous haunch of roast beast, what looked kind of like pork but tasted nothing like it. There were all the vegetables he'd seen the other day, plus some: stuff like friend plantains and chipped jicama, little tomatillos and a huge bowl of jackfruit, shredded and pulled and tasting more like pork than the animal matter on the table. There were white, wheat, rye, and sourdough rolls, each as distinct to his nose as to his fingers as he pulled them apart for buttering. In the middle of it all, the big bowl of mashed taters and gravy looked pretty normal, even with the cup of snozzberry sauce next to it. A bean salad with sapote vinaigrette sauce completed the meal.

Roast beast, is Jobe determined to make every fictional thing from stories, TV shows, and movies she enjoys real?

Hehe, an obvious setting to get Daniel and Roxie sitting by each other. Short and sweet grace for the meal, I like it. Daniel is going to have so many pictures of Roxie on his phone; if any of the girls back at Whateley find out, they will be jealous. A routine for Cookie in the show, Roxie has been teaching Crumpette a dance number. That last honorary award, I wouldn't want to be the assistant. The catering job bit, that will be unique for a routine. Roxie got an addition to her self-defense course, nice.

The girl hiked up her holiday dress on one side to show off a garter-belt knife holster, its strap a pure white against the drow black skin of her thigh.

Roxie, I know what you were trying to show Daniel, but you showed him off your thigh; think before you act, next time.

Welp, Madrigal got Roxie to realize how it looked; poor girl is hiding behind the coach now.

"S-s-sorry!" she cried.

"Don't think he minded any."

"DA～AD!"

If her parents make her blush any harder, she is going to look like a drow-shaped wine container. Nice move, Daniel, get Roxie to focus on you and excitement over seeing what gifts you got.

"It's a multimedia player," Roxie's dad explained. "And as for what media, well..." He tapped the top of the box. "You can tell from the logo. This thing can handle any disc format ever invented, plus a couple of cartridge and cassette formats, not to mention any output option imaginable. If you sync it to a computer, it'll let you copy or transfer across media types like nothing else. The ultimate media piracy machine. Um, also, it's technically illegal for export," the man added. "It breaks about half the articles of the international copyright and trademark agreements."

I hope bringing it back to Whateley won't be an issue. Something to play Cookie's movies on. Ah, the spice rack. From Mr. Sharpe's reaction, I was right about that one spice.

"Unfortunately, yeah. That's ground cave troll. Specially engineered chili pepper varietal," the man explained. "One of Her Highness's little culinary experiments that didn't quite go as planned."

"It makes a wonderful sauce," said Miz Madrigal.

"Only if you're a drow," her husband complained. "HFH Sauce, letters left unexplained, but Her Highness has a biomedical background, so the current money's on it standing for 'heart failure hospitalization.' Me? I think it's something simpler like 'Holy Fucking Hell'. Never even been discussed for export, probably because of the Geneva Convention."

I would give that spice to Madrigal so she can use it for her and Roxie.

Chili pepper chocolate recipes, I've heard the spices go well with the chocolate.

"Not in my kitchen," said Mr. Sharpe. "Trust me, you'll want full PPE for this stuff. Or a lab."

"One came with the rental," said Mr. Carlyle. "Ah, Cody banned me from using it, but I don't suppose...?"

The old lady sighed. "We can make an exception for this."

All that for making chocolate, does Daniel plan to gift this to Madrigal and Roxie, or as a bribe for the drow judges tomorrow?

The drow girl bounced to her feet. "Yay! Oh, but I need to pick out a swimsuit!"

The idea sent all sorts of fun and confusing shivers through Daniel, starting with the brain but certainly not ending there. He managed a "Sure, you do that," and a "See you there" as he processed how suddenly the prospects of baking experiments had turned into an afterthought.

He is a true gentleman, but he is still a teenage boy, and their imagination when it comes to certain things is strong.

About an hour later, Roxie

Roxie and her mom weren't the only ones strolling along in beachwear--diaphonous blouses and skirts that hardly obscured the bikinis underneath--but most of the attention their way was stolen by Crumpette, who trotted along happily on her leash. The long strip of leather was for other people's peace of mind; it wasn't a snap-off, but that wouldn't make a lick of difference if the owlbear didn't want it on.

Heh, concern over what Crumpette might do distracting from staring at two lovely ladies, that is some strong fear.

"I'm not being, um, too... forward? Coming on too strong? With Daniel? I... I don't want to scare him off or..."

A motherly pat on the head reassured her. "I would say... yes, a little strong but no, he's not going to be scared off so easily. Which is good," said Mom. "There's going to be a lot more to take in, after all."

"I just feel so... so... blargh!" she yelled into the open air. "This is so confusing!"

"That's part of growing up drow, Roxie. Or at least, I expect it is. You're writing the book on the experience right now, so we can say with certainty that one hundred percent of teenage dark elves feel exactly like you do right now."

"...thanks, Mom."

Well, at least you have people who care about you to help you along the way, Roxie.

"So, on the subject of feelings," her mother continued. "If Daniel were here and you knew he wouldn't be scared and so you had no constraints, what would you do?"

That question deserved a blink or three as she considered what she was comfortable with saying in front of a parent. But Mom had asked, so... "I think... I'd grab him by the ears, flip off those sunglasses, look him straight in the eyes, and then kiss him till we both pass out."

Do it! Blow his socks into the stratosphere! Madrigal! There are some things you don't say to your teenage daughter about their father, and that is one of them.

"Definitely discuss this with Dr. Pinder," her mother told her. "And if you're this keyed up, we might need to order a bloodwork sample for Her Highness's testing as well. You're living the truest drow experience, and anything they can learn from you will go to helping figure out what's wrong with all of us, somehow." The older drow stopped and made a pose that practically invited whistles from passing beachgoers. "Though some of us are doing more right than others. Far more than certain others."

Volumes, nah. They could write a small library on all the issues Jobe has.

"John and I have been together for longer than you've been alive, I would wager. I'm long since resigned to his idea of a proper pet." Mrs. Carlyle ruffled some fluff playfully. "And Crumpette's a sweetie. Yes, you are..." the grandmother cooed to the birbo.

I wonder how she would react to some of Pet Shop's creations.

"Debbie's idea, originally," the old lady explained. "Pup is smart for, well, a non-human genetic construct, so we picked shows that are supposed to help instruct young children through entertainment."

Yes, try it with Crumpette and suggest it be used with all the highly intelligent creations. Cody is pet-sitting, while Roxie is off in a flash down to the lab to see Daniel. Dang, she would fit right in with the Parkour Holligans.

Bake up the crust first, smart. Oh, so that is one of the limits of Daniel's power, finished products, but not ingredients or basic components on their own. A lot of it is like a practical chemistry lesson with Jobe; that is what baking boils down to.

There was a thing called a bain marie, which was basically just a pot inside another pot, but the big pot was full of simmering water and the small pot held heavy cream and milk.

I've seen that in shows and always wondered what it was called. Now for the ground cave troll pepper. 1/4 teaspoon of ghost pepper powder; Debbie is right, whoever wrote that recipe is nuts.

Two attempts, one with 1/8 teaspoon. And Roxie, to a non-drow, if they don't follow all those steps are in for a world of pain or worse. 22 minutes to bake, an hour or two to cool. I'm with Roxie, too long to wait for a yummy treat!

But then she got distracted by the sight of Daniel taking off his temporary labcoat to reveal an open vest and swimming shorts underneath. There was just a bit of muscle visible, and a bit more belly. The teen boy was no body-builder, and Roxie found that she didn't even care, because he was perfectly himself in a way that made herself want to hold and be held and do chocolate stuff all over and...

Being on the beach with Daniel in that outfit will leave Roxie distracted for a good, long while.

Daniel

Daniel, you have been on many dates, but Roxie is the one for you if you are trying to be this much of a gentleman, but still tempted to look.

The resemblance between mother and daughter was impossible to ignore when they had on pretty much the same outfit in different colors, and his imagination could plot the trajectory of Roxie's future pretty easily. His girlfriend was built on the same model as Mom, and that model was 'super'.

Daniel is facing the ultimate test of being a gentleman. Roxie could model for Venus Inc.

"To quote a famous comic book line," said the man, "Face it, tiger. You just hit the jackpot."

"Can't disagree," he mumbled.

A friendly hand clapped him on the shoulder, then continued in to push him forward. "So go get her."

And an understanding father who doesn't try to scare off the first boy his daughter likes.

First-date nerves on their second date; Daniel, you are just too adorable. From Cookie's reaction, I'm guessing the ground cave troll pepper left a bit of a scent on Daniel even after multiple washings.

More weird realizations blossomed in his brain as they walked down the porch steps to the beachfront, and he did not have time to unpack them all, but the basic thing was that this felt... comfortable. Right. Things were as they ought to be.

The girl of your dreams is in love with you, enjoy it, Daniel.

Hehe, a race towards the water initiated by Roxie, so adorable.

He caught up to her and they tumbled through a wave. Her blouse and skirt clung in all the best ways, visible as a silver sheen across drow-black skin and the sapphire blue of her swimsuit.

These two better have a happy ending in their future.

"Already enjoying it lots."

His girlfriend had a dreamy look on her face. "You could always enjoy it more... uh..." She spluttered to a halt with the vaguely purple tint of a blush on her face. When Miz Debbie called from the veranda to let them know the pies were ready, they were both kind of relieved. And disappointed, somehow, at the same time. Life was complicated.

Being a teenager is especially complicated. And I hope Roxie was just thinking about kissing right then!

A chocolate tart with whipped topping, yum. Time for Madrigal and Roxie to taste the tarts. Roxie going for 2nds is high praise.

"Definitely." A sniff wriggled from Miz Madrigal's nose. "A fine chocolate flavor with a spicy floral bouquet that hits just right. Wouldn't you agree, Roxie?"

Roxie loves it. Daniel, are you sure this is wise? I hope his power somehow helps to protect him from the dangerous effects of food-based substances.

"Can't magic something up if I don't know it well enough," he replied. "And that includes knowin' its flavor profile. Proof of the pudding, right?"

From the kitchen, Mr. Carlyle yelled, "Just a moment!" That moment later, the old man and Mr. Sharpe returned with a large milkshake glass and a larger beaker filled with chilled white stuff.

"Went ahead and mixed this up for you," Roxie's dad explained as the mixture slowly glipped and glopped into the glass. "Milk, yogurt, vanilla ice cream, antacid tablets, and a handful of fresh snozzberries, put in the blender on frappe setting and then chilled in the freezer. We'll have it on standby for when you need it."

Good lord, it sounds like those peppers have a spiciness just below a volcano!

At least he gets to have Roxie feed him the dollop of pie.

The first thing he noted was the chocolate. He and Miz Debbie'd gotten the best they could find on their shopping trip the night before, and it lived up to its scientific name meaning 'Food of the Gods.' The fluffiness of the topping was like angel feathers on his tongue, tickling and then melting away to blissful nothingness. Under it all, there was a fragrant, almost fruity scent, starting out warm and then getting warmer and never stopping warming up but it really should've been and yet it wasn't and oh God this was too hot and it still wasn't stopping and...

Drank the milkshake before he blacked out—no wonder those peppers are banned from export.

Roxie is there when Daniel wakes up, out for maybe a half hour or a little longer. Oh boy, they are both on Daniel's bed.

She was wearing a terrycloth bathrobe, and his brain couldn't help but notice how nicely it fit her. "Daniel..." she repeated. "You didn't... you didn't have to do that for me. For us. You could make more tarts on your own even without your power, but you... and then you..."

Daniel is just too nice for his own good sometimes. At least he can now reproduce the spicy chocolate tart for Madrigal and Roxie with his power.

"Well... between the market, and the gardens, and the church service, and the dinner, and the cooking, and the beach... Three? Maybe four? Why do you ask?"

He felt a giggle through his chest. "Mom and I had a talk, Saturday night, when I told her I really liked you and wanted to go on a date like... like a regular girl. She told me to take things slow, which obviously has not been happening, and not to get too serious about anything till after the third date. But... but..." She lifted her head, and the reflective glow of her eyes in the evening became his world. "I don't know if you feel the same way, or if I'm just being crazy, but I really..."

Inviting and guiding Roxie into a kiss, now that is how you do it.

It wasn't his first, though it might as well have been. With Erica, it'd felt like neither of them'd known what the heck they were doing. With Whirlibird, neither of them'd known what they wanted. Here and now, Roxie knew exactly what she was doing, and she knew what she wanted, and he knew that he wanted what she wanted, and what they both wanted was to hold on tight and keep kissing and kissing and kissing till they both blacked out.

To young and in love. Roxie fell asleep beside Daniel, only to wake up and the kissing to continue. Ow, my teeth are starting to hurt, they are just too sweet together.

Elsewhere, late in the evening

Huh, I wonder what this call is about and who is still in custody. All these responses have me worried. Crud, that Sic semper for the last response. This isn't Jobe communicating with one of the drow. One of the groups on the island is planning to make trouble at the event tomorrow, that is my guess.